Day 22

A Conversation between Mr. Kane and Miss Barry

“I think we need some sort of corporate—I don’t know what—primer?—on appropriate corporate behavior and associated language,” says Mr. Kane.

Miss Barry raises an eyebrow (which causes it to almost fall off). “Could you be more specific, Sir?”

“I’m thinking that our employees here don’t practice good discipline. And their morale is weak. They always see the glass half empty. And their language reflects this attitude.”

“Could you give me an example, Sir?” asks Miss Barry.

“Certainly. The storm that hit our Maine factory the other day is a perfect example. For days all I heard was grip, gripe, moan…’we’re going to have to do so much to prepare for a possible power outage, boo hoo, we have so much to do.’ When a more logical sentiment should clearly reflect the advantage of being stranded among a bevy of yummy people to eat who cannot call for help. In Maine, no less.

“So my point is that we should have some kind of manual and dictionary. In this case, “natural disaster” = “feasting opportunity.” Get it?”

“Completely, Sir.”