Day 22

Miss Barry…

…is getting ready for work this morning.

“It takes a long time to look this good. This professional. This…human…when, in fact, you are a ringleader in a corporate zombie world. Consider the time involved. Imagine not only having to brush your teeth, but file them down. And whitening? Ha! You think you have coffee or cigarette or blueberry stains? Try whitening after a succulent feast of frontal lobe. Application after application of self-tanner still leaves me deathly pale. And you think you have issues choosing your wardrobe in the morning? Puh-lease. My clothes have to hide the parts of my body that have decomposed. And then a fortifying meal of highly nutritious brains so that I can function like a seemingly normal person instead of the staggering, slurring, confused zombie I might otherwise be. I tell you, it’s a job in itself-all this corporate deception.